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Blue_Bird
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Location: Hogwarts
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Default Dec 06, 2018 at 11:09 PM
 
Had kind of a weird day. I slept in really late. Then my water pressure was messed up, I guess they worked on it though because it started working again in the afternoon. Then my laptop I just bought a month ago for $600 decided it's keyboard would suddenly not respond to anything. So I was very aggravated and messing with that took up a lot of my day. It's currently in the process of a factory reset, maybe that will help. I had to step away from it for awhile because I was getting really upset. It's not even so much about the computer as it is that I hardly ever have money to spend on nice things for myself and I invested quite a bit on it. Plus I needed needed a better quality laptop for some of my college classes. I know it's not the highest end but I like it.

Anyway, I somewhat overate earlier due to stress then got the urge to go back to restricting. But I was reading that book I bought recently and the chapter I was on was all in detail about medical complications associated with EDs and I already have messed up teeth and have sIlent GERD from purging, as frustrating as that is, I feel lucky for escaping the more serious and life threatening issues. I don't want to mess with my body anymore. I just want to be a healthy person and enjoy life.

I'm trying to find meaning beyond weight numbers and how I look. Being involved in my faith more , etc.

I wanted to purge so badly, but I couldn't do it. I can't risk it, it's too much of a gamble. the horrible medical emergencies that can result from it aren't worth it. So instead, I read for awhile. Then I watched Frosty the Snowman and Frosty Returns

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