I'm so sorry you're struggling, lucymae1 It must have been terrible to go through what you've been through, and to have flashbacks of it years later. Yes, I'm sure you're not alone in this either. I'm sure your mom will understand your request and hopefully you'll never have to live through this experience again. Just know that the past is past and the present and future can only get better. Do you see a therapist? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this