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olga1122
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Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Westchester
Posts: 2
5 yr Member
Default Dec 07, 2018 at 05:01 PM
 
Sorry to be barging in... But reading this thread was helpful to me as well. We have been married more than 15 years, have a teenage daughter, and a grown son from a previous marriage. My husband has struggled with depression most of his adult life. I was clueless when we got married, thought he had some temper issues and was moody at times - but who isn't? So... The depression hit hard in March of this year, when his mom passed away. He was on a quick spiral from there. Walked out of his professional job in late May, has been unemployed since. He had been on a meds protocol for a few years now, the doctor has switched things around trying to find a sweet spot. We ended up doing 11 ECT sessions in Oct-Nov. Our high expectations that this would be a miracle cure came to naught. He is still sad, often almost paralyzed with sadness, can't concentrate or get/stay engaged in much of anything. The loss of the second income is hurting us. I was supportive, I gave him space, I drove him to/from ECT appointments, I nursed him, I cried with him, I cried for him, I made him his favorite dishes, I took him out even though he was not really with me in the true sense... I am so emotionally tired and drained being the only adult in the family, holding up the brave front, coping with a challenging job, being a wife and a mother. I told him in January he has to find employment. Any employment. Part-time, unskilled labor, I don't care. He has to get out of the house and start being productive again in whatever capacity he can. I feel cruel doing that, and guilty, but also desperate...

We had 14 good years. The occasional moods I could handle. Will this darkness ever go away??
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