You may be "Adult-Child",as I was till I woke up from deep-
trance-state,brought about by severe child-abuse.The child
cannot bear the pain and misery,and would become insane if
he had no escape---the trance is natures way of preserving
life,though the price is very high as you now know. If need
any more info,message me.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE