Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimless Soul
Some people of my age are running countries, and here I am feeling hopeless. People who are younger have stronger personalities, more confidence, and have achieved more than me in life, while I am sitting here broken and defeated. It's humiliating. I feel I have grown physically only, but inside me there is a child who hasn't grown, who is weak and fragile. If people know how old I am, and know the things I am talking about here, they will probably laugh at me and look at me with contempt. I myself feel embarrassed and lose my self-respect when I talk about how I feel here, even when I am anonymous and know no one. We men are not supposed to talk about how we feel. We must not complain. This is how we are taught directly and indirectly.
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Women aren't supposed to talk about how they feel nor are they to complain either. Oh, it may seem that way--but the
real message is women are supposed to be warm and wonderfully supportive and bubbly and cheerful and rah-rah-rah for everyone else and to swallow all the crud that the entire rest of the world, including from other women, dishes their way -- or they are not considered to be nice women, desirable women, women worthy of decent treatment.
Now that I've set that little gender lie straight--you sound like an ideal candidate for individual counseling and also for a men's group. I realize group counseling has kind of gone out of fashion, but it is great for your situation. If you start with individual counseling and suggest that you are interested in, and want to start a group counseling group--you will be on your way to growing up inside.
Let me also offer the observation that people who act as though they feel the way you do (many won't verbalize it but it is obvious in their behavior) often have trauma in their backgrounds.
I am not a believer in resting on one's trauma as a blanket excuse not to do the hard work that therapy requires--but if trauma is in your background, that is a good place to start with your therapist--and insist on one who understands and has treated survivors of trauma.
One last thing I offer: yeah, someone is president. Someone else is a prima ballerina, Oscar winner, CEO of some successful company, etc. etc. to infinity and beyond.
But for all their success, there are tradeoffs, whether they talk about them or not, and:
There is only one you. You decide to make yourself wonderful, by your own definition of wonderful. You have a lifetime to work on this project. Ready set go, brother