Since I finished my last job, I haven't left home, and I live alone. I leave my apartment just once a week to buy groceries. I don't speak with anyone even on the phone or over the Internet. I use text messages only to talk to some of my siblings, and sometimes my parents. It's a complete isolation, and it's very depressing. I know I put myself in this isolation "voluntarily", but I cannot fit in the world, and I've tried so many times. I just cannot connect with people, and people avoid me. Being alone is painful, but being between people and marginalized and ignored is more painful. Both ways, I've failed.