I know it is painful. I am so sorry

What if you write down some of fond memories? When I am really struggling I write an email to I talk about everything just like we did in sessions. I write about my family and my successe, grief, topics we us to discuss and current struggles. Sometimes in writing this stuff I hear her voice telling me what she is to say or whatever. I dont send the emails but I do save them. I also have many of the emails she sent me the last couple of years saved. I cant read them now but when I am in a better place someday I can go back through them.