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Old 12-09-2018, 09:54 PM  
jaymoq has no updates.
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 123
3 yr Member
2 hugs
Default Re: I always put myself last...

Thanks everyone for your input. The situation unfortunately has not gotten better. He continues to wallow in his condition. He has a doctors appointment in two weeks but he has been feeling worse because of the smoking. Naturally. Which in turn makes him hurt more, so to cope he smokes more. Itís all just madness.

I really miss the man he was when we were first together. When he didnít feel so poorly. When we could go do things. Be active. Now we sit in a dark house almost all the time and itís no wonder both of us are going stir crazy.

So I will see how his doctors appointment goes. But if he canít get his act together, something has to change. Even my family has started to comment on the fact he doesnít work and just sits at home.

I miss the man I fell in love with. I truly do. But I know I canít just wish him back. I am trying to support this person that has taken over my loveís body. I hope he will reappear. But if he is gone and this negative and bitter person has taken over, then I canít continue to put myself through this.

Part of me feels bad for even considering leaving given that itís due to a medical condition that he has no control over, but he does have some control. He can take steps to try. I think heís given up on himself. And if thatís the case, I canít help him. I just have to try to save myself.
|| Does the walker choose the path, or does the path choose the walker? ||
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