We had a chat last night and he went out and canvased for work today. Of course, the few places he went weren't hiring and he got discouraged. Now he is asking me to help him apply for jobs online when I get home. At least its progress. Of course, I feel like he's fully capable of applying for work. I think he's just dragging his feet. Stringing me along. But I'll help him apply. I get he feels beaten down and upset and depressed and sick on top of all that. But, I can't carry this relationship. I can't carry him. I have my own host of mental health issues that are very real. Over the last 6 months, I've been chipped away at and held our lives together. Paid the bills. Not pushed him. Not asked much. Looked past his tendency to make excuses. But, I just can't anymore. My own mental health is suffering because of this great burden of caring for both of our lives. So...we shall see. I miss him. Who he used to be. But if this is how he copes with change; how he copes with difficult times, then our future will always be riddled with him shutting down, shutting me out, and distancing himself and me left to hold our lives up and together and get us through. And honestly, I don't have the strength.