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Anonymous47864
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Default Dec 10, 2018 at 09:15 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by G lady View Post
So I'm going to see my sister and brother-in-law and their 2 boys this Christmas, for the first time in several years after a big blow up between me and them (sis and bro-in-law). My other sister, who lives in the same part of the country as them, is having Christmas for the first time in quite a while. It has been the plan for some months that they may come to my sister's for a day, but it was communicated just a couple days ago that they are going to be there for 4 days, which is nearly the whole time my kids and I are going to be there (my hubby is having some health issues and had already decided not to attend).


When the blow up happened, my sis and bro-in-law essentially pulled away from the whole family, not just me. It seems pretty weird to me that rather than starting to reconnect over a short visit, they are going to just jump right in with a 4 day visit. I'm not sure what their expectations are. Do they think it's going to be like nothing happened? I'm going to try to make the best of it but there's certainly potential for awkwardness and worse.


I'm annoyed that they made such a dramatic change to the visit at the last minute. My kids and I took time off of work and spent money on airline tickets, etc, thinking it would be an awesome time with my sister and her family. Now it's going to be completely different and very uncertain. Maybe I'm being selfish to think that way. I was pleased when I heard that they were thinking of coming to my sister's for a day because I took it as they are interested in reconnecting with the family. Maybe I should try to focus on the positive, including that things could go well.


Any advice that people have about dealing with a situation like this would be appreciated.


So do I understand this right... you made plans to visit your sister and her family and now the other estranged sister is showing up for the whole four days you’ll be there? I don’t think you’re being selfish about having apprehensions about jumping right back into things after several years of estrangement. It’s just common sense that taking things slow would help maintain good boundaries. I think your options are to either shorten your trip, change your trip to another time frame, or hang in there the full four days of this trip and hope for the best as far as everybody being able to be kind and considerate of one another...
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