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Old 12-11-2018, 06:00 AM
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leomama leomama is offline
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leomama Depressed
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
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Default Re: I really hurt the man I love

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Marrying someone like that wouldn’t result in happy marriage. You can never trust him. He seems to enjoy game playing.



He “pretend” proposes while being married to someone else (you can’t be engaged AND married at the same time unless one is in polygamist), then refers to you as a girlfriend behind your back while claiming being “engaged” to your face, he breaks up with you but not tell you that, instead keeps dragging you along, refuses to come see you yet demands unreasonable declarations of love, and all insane lies in the past! Do you want a husband like that? Not a good foundation for marriage. It would be a nightmare!



I’d focus on working with your therapist on figuring out why you’d want to have him back and be married to someone like that. Of course even if bad relationship end it hurts, but good times are ahead.


Lol. It’s not simple. I set a very firm boundary with him that I would not see him until divorced and I held my ground. Of course that devastated him. He then thought I had a problem instead of accepting it was solely his marriage that was the problem. That is all behind us now but currently we are estranged. He’s autistic so his brain doesn’t work like ours. For example he thought I was blocking him when I was sleeping or working when my phone was off. Yes, the autism is a challenge. I just listened to all the blocked and deleted voice mails from the last two years and it devastated me. I am glad I held my ground because it allowed me to see it was his marriage that was the problem not me. It was devastating to me every time he had to leave me and go back home. I do not want anybody else. I am deeply in love with him. He doesn’t know that because I shut down for a long time. Part of the problem was his refusal to come to my church. I asked him every Sunday and he refused to participate. He wanted to be a part of my religion, I was not forcing him so his withholding himself is 50% of the problem. He has been silent for 29 days now and I can not apologize to him nor tell him I love him and am in love with him. I’m not sleeping and I’m losing weight. None of his friends have heard from him either. They all accept he does this but I do not. He’s never done it to me before. This is what his wife would experience when he would come see me. I feel awful for what she had to go through. I had no idea my happiness was bought with someone else’s pain. So, I know I can endure this and he assured me there is no one else. Since the last thing he said to me was that I accused him of gaslighting me, I’ve done everything I can to establish the truth.
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