Relationships between mothers and teenage daughters are often difficult. I think things will get better as she gets older.

But I would also have a hard time spending time with family who criticizes my religious beliefs, the way I dress, the way I cut my hair, the fact that I put on weight, and my sexuality.

I gained quite a bit of weight in grad school, and my family gave me such a hard time about it that I didn't want to spend any holidays with them. Extended family usually feels no compulsion about telling me I'm overweight. Actually, they did this even when I was in the normal weight range for my height. Now I am actually overweight, and I don't really want to see any of them to hear what they have to say about it.

Maybe you can try to be a bit more accepting or at least not criticize her to her face.