When I dspoke to her last night I asked her to clarify what she meant last week. What she meant was that there is healthy grief and not so healthy. With me it isn't so much that I have those floods of emotions it is how long they last. She used the example of my mom and the month of May. Between mothers day, her birthday and her anniversary to my abuser it can really effect me for a month. I typically start getting very irritable and anxious a week or two before without realizing why and then trying to avoid those days. Even though I am a mom I despise Mother's day because of sadness. May is just one example if this. She believes this is because the are so many issues that tie into it such as my abandonment issues, did she or didnt she know about the abuse, her (and my young age), etc. She thinks once we are able to process and work through those issues my grief will become easier and healthier. She also pointed out that it is understandable I would struggle with it. She isn't in any way trying to rush the process.