Lonesome - good session, tough session. I call this broken cookie syndrome. I didnt want to acknowledge that *I* was/am the broken cookie, so i sought out others who i thought were broken and deigned to love / fix them. Thats also partly parental re-enactment - trying to fix the broken relationship with our parents, if only we can love them enough.

But its SOOOO insulting to the object of my affections! I can only imagine what horrible things they were thinking in response. Major pity date. Im amazed i can scrape any self esteem off the floor at this time. But you know what? It is JUST what your parents thought of you. And maybe some peers of theirs.

I was lucky. My dad's brother pulled me aside at his son's 25th wedding anniversary party just to tell me that HE WON - i.e., my uncle won, because my cousin was married with children and i was not. It was humiliating, but enlightening. I found out where i truly came from. Now i can claim it. I wish that for you.