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Originally Posted by Anne2.0
I didn't say it wasn't understandable and I think in fact it's quite a normal thing to do. It wasn't a criticism or something that needs to be defended against. To me a therapy session is like a big fishbowl where it's easier to see the things I do that could be changed or improved (compared to everyday relationships, where things can be more loaded). I find it useful to bring them to the surface and see what they are about, think about them more deeply.
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My post was in no way meant as a defence of anyone or as a way of implying that you didn't understand merely as an observation that I too would have responded in such a way like LT. I found that in itself interesting as I don't always find people responding as I would.
When I said it was an interesting observation I also meant it simply as such ...I found it an interesting observation no malice, criticism or ill intent behind it...It was an interesting observation that I did not pick up on. I like reading others people views and observations on this thread. It gives me a broader perspective on the world and reminds me that my way of thinking is not the only way of thinking and more often than not a way of thinking that is not in the majority.
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But, as to your explanation above, I don't think anyone knows for a minute how the therapist would feel in the moment and the other "worries" about what he might think are kind of the identified problem-- mind reading, caring too much about what someone else thinks, when you can't possibly know and I'd bet ten bucks to this therapist's straight talk that he'd be glad to repeat what he said or even clarify it. Most people would be glad to repeat something they said if the intended hearer didn't catch it; isn't that the whole point of saying anything at all, that someone actually hears what you said? And isn't the whole point of being a listener to actually understand what someone says?
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Of course, no one knows for a second what a therapist (or anyone else for that matter thinks or feels). I was not trying to imply that I do or that how I would have reacted is the 'right' way to react simply that is how my mind would have reacted. Clarifying there and then what someone said is easier said than done. For me personally reacting more 'in' the moment (and not hours or days later) is something I have been working on improving and have made progress.