Sounds like something he would write... Possibly in "Notes from the Underground," making bad decisions just to prove you can make decisions, not being a piano key, and all that. I thoroughly enjoyed that novella.
I think there's some level of comfort in unpleasant emotions, especially if they're ones with which we are very familiar. You know what to expect when you feel those emotions. There's something almost unpredictable about "feeling better," plus something fleeting about it as well, which can make the return to negative emotions that much more difficult.
Basically, I just wanted to tell you I understand. I used to pick the same awful fight with my husband over and over because I "knew" the outcome even if that fight had nothing to do with what was upsetting me. For a long time, I was avoiding discussing what was really going on in my head because the unknown was scarier.