I don't think the comment on it being unhealthy was meant in a judgemental way.

I can't tell you what other people exactly experience. But from what I've heard from friends and family, 'healthy' grieving seems to stop being so intense quite quickly. You're still sad of course. You're still grieving. But it's not so painful that a person can't work or concentrate on something else for a while.

When some of my pets passed, I was sad. I cried for a day or two. After that it was still painful to think of them being gone, but I could fall asleep, I didn't cry myself to sleep, and after some months I was able to look at pictures of them without being overwhelmed. Same with the only person I've ever lost, I was sad for a few days, but it quickly got better to the point of not crying a whole lot anymore and not thinking about it much either.

I think that if something like your situation happened to me, I'd react very similarly. I'd experience it as something very traumatic, which sounds similar to what you're describing. I'm not sure what is the best thing to do when being in such a situation. But I'd think it's talking to somebody who knows how to deal with trauma, which you are doing. Talking about things that are traumatic can be even more traumatizing, but I'd hope that EMDR T can judge how far and fast you can go with this. So I don't think you just shouldn't talk about it anymore, just to not bother her. If it's affecting you and you're having trouble with it, it's fine to bring it up and seek help for that.