I'm so sorry you had this dreadful experience. I have the sort of disjointed fragments of memories you mention. However nothing so horrible as what you've described happened to me. For me it was more, I think, a long series of lesser experiences... sort-of like the old saying about death by a thousand cuts. I won't go into any of the details though. There are simply too many of them. (I also have never yet been able to figure out how to do the trigger thing.)

One of the "unique features" of my situation, I guess you might say, is that I was an only child. And, growing up, my parents used to like to tell me stories of things that happened with me earlier in my life. So now, looking back, with some of the things I think I recall, I can't be sure to what extent I really recall it & to what extent what I recall is what my parents told me. Of course, there are some things I know my parents didn't tell me either because it would have reflected poorly on them or because they weren't there. But, regardless, it all went together to really mess me up over the long haul. And sadly I, in turn, did irrepairable harm to others who deserved infinitely better from me. All a punished!