I've felt like that in the past.
But getting better is a process.
Feeling like I didn't want to get better was part of that process.
I think there have been things in my life I've truly not wanted and I know for certain there have been no doubts in that dept when it's happened. Had it been about not wanting to get better, I would have stopped going to therapy and certainly wouldn't be talking about it in a forum. I would have just walked away and not looked back.