View Single Post
Lrad123
Poohbah
Lrad123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
5 yr Member
372 hugs
given
Default Dec 13, 2018 at 10:22 AM
 
Had a sort of stress-free session for a change yesterday, but then I went and sent him the following email this morning:

“This feels F’d up now, but I’m not feeling great about yesterday and I’m not sure why. It seemed like you were less interested and looking at the clock more. Do you like it better when I’m struggling more to be there? Because I felt unusually good and not stressed out before we met yesterday, and then increasingly stressed out afterwards. This seems messed up. I’m pretty sure that’s not how therapy is supposed to work. I’m feeling frustrated about this and I don’t understand why you can’t just send me an email response helping me figure this out. It feels like we’re playing a game. It feels like we’re playing your game where you know the rules and I don’t. I’m pretty sure this doesn’t have to go this way. I hate that this keeps happening. Apparently I’m a masochist because I keep coming back, foolishly hoping to make it better. I feel bad about myself in relationship to you and I feel even worse because I assume the opposite is supposed to happen. I assume you don’t really like me and I’m not sure how much of that is part of a game we’re playing and how much is real. I show up and pay on time, so I guess that’s my value. So, whatever. F**k you, I guess.”

Nice, polite, rule-following me is swearing at my T via email after a perfectly fine session. Ugh. It’s taken on a life of its own.
Lrad123 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
ChickenNoodleSoup, Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty