I'm so sorry you're struggling, HopefullyLost1211 It's very hard to cope with grieving if the death was an abuser. It's even harder if others paint the abuser in a positive light. I think you should just avoid the subject completely if you can. Don't talk about him and certainly don't go to any event that may celebrate him or his death. You may even decide to take some time for yourself away from your family. It's not easy but trust me, you can get over it. It will just take time, but it is possible. And please remember that you don't have any obligation to love your father. Sure, he's your parent and he gave you life, but all the abuse can't be forgotten. Just go your own path, you will decide whether to forgive him or not. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this