Dec 13, 2018 at 12:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by piggy momma
I used to feel that way. Even as recently as eight months ago when I was hospitalized for my suicide attempt. Then I decided that if I was going to be stuck on this earth, I needed something worth sticking around for that made things meaningful.
I've been working on this in therapy. I have found that I absolutely love school. I don't have any great goals once I'm done my degree, but I love the learning process. I wake up so excited to go to school each day.
I am working on developing relationships, even just friendships. I've learned that I NEED other people in my life to be happy.
I changed from a job that was sucking the life out of me to a different one that invigorates me and makes me happy.
I've had to make a lot of changes, some of them not easy, in order to find reasons to enjoy life. But I'm slowly learning they do exist. I have to either find them, or create them.
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I just finished a year of school. Massage Therapy and passed my license exam. I thought that was going to be the thing that changed my outlook on life. I loved going to school every weekend and I probably could be a professional student going from one certification to another but you know I have to make money from it. I can not afford to stop working and go back to college for something I probably won't even succeed at and at 52 I do not even know what I would go to college for. If I picked something I doubt I would complete it as I would change my mind a few months down the road. I was horrible at college anyway. I went for 4 different things and never completed anyone of them.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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