So I did say that to T a couple of weeks ago. I did not die from my suicide attempt many years ago and even though I have been suicidal and wanted to still die all this time there has been nothing great that has happened for me to stick around for. You hear things like "Why don't you hang around you never know what life might bring you or what will happen." So I decided to live and stick around. Well my outlook on life has not changed. I hate it every single day I wake up. Oh I have done a lot over the years but I still do not have any joy over being alive. If a bus hit me tomorrow I would be thankful.

I am suppose to be grateful for what I have. I am in a way. I am grateful I am not homeless but if I was I would definitely off myself.

He had nothing to say about all that. Sorry but no amount of medications is going to change how I feel. I have always felt this way all my life. Is this how everyone else feels or is it just me?