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Old 12-13-2018, 04:41 PM  
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Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
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2 yr Member
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Default Re: In Session Today: Part V

Before asking his usual first question, T told me he managed to use his computer keyboard properly for the first time thanks to my help and told me he thought of me when he did. That made me smile.

Then, I started off by telling him about the Christmas party at my partner's job. My boyfriend hadn't behaved well and I was worried that he'd get into trouble for the whole weekend. T asked whether he had had too much to drink, but that wasn't it. However, some other woman there had too many glasses of wine. She and her partner were the only ones to leave before us. We left about three minutes after them, and they were still in the restaurant near the exit. Partner's boss was there too. Some people had been making some small jokes about the woman being drunk, so my partner thought it was appropriate to go up to her and laugh in her face (twice, in fact, since the first time nobody laughed and he assumed they hadn't heard his joke). I had to explain how that was inappropriate on the way home. T asked what I had said and I told him that it's not okay to laugh at people who are suffering. We shortly went into why I assumed that lady was suffering (she was really, really drunk). T then went on about how one shouldn't drink too much in job situations. Then he asked me whether my partner always struggles with things like this. I said he usually has trouble understanding how two similar situations differ, why it is appropriate to joke in one situation but not in the other. T mentioned that he probably has trouble empathizing. But that the people at his work probably know him well enough by now to know that and not mind too much anyways.

Next I mentioned mood swings. Not only because of that party, but aso because of last session. I had still been angry with T for quite a while, and sad. He asked whether it hadn't also been a positive session since I could see that sometimes people contradict themselves. While I agreed with that, I now felt like I shouldn't talk anymore. T said how it's okay to feel like that and that we can talk or not talk about anything I want. I started crying. He stayed quiet for a while, then mentioned that I looked like I was fighting against some of my feelings. He asked what I felt, which was sad as well as empty, switching between the two. He asked me to embrace those feelings, but that was rather hard for me. He asked me whether I was having flashbacks, which I was, and we talked about how I try to run from those which he thinks makes things worse.

After a while of me crying, we managed to talk a little bit of some of the memories and why I get so sad. T asked whether I had trouble accepting the past and when I confirmed that he asked why. I told him it's hard since I feel these things created so many issues for me and I can't even understand why they happened. He replied that we can't ever really understand why things have happened, but through accepting them we can let go of those things, at least to some part, which makes life more comfortable.

We had already been talking for an hour so it was time to go after confirming our second session of the week.
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