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divine1966
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Default Dec 13, 2018 at 06:06 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise View Post
if you re read my post you will see I did not say .........the poster.............should be polite.

I said ........if this was me I would be polite.........

I am a person that picks my battles. Im also in the belief and culture that going online and posting a personal ad is not cheating. to me its only cheating if they actually meet out in public... in other words same mentality of visiting porn sites and having a playboy/ play girl magazine in the bathroom or bedroom...

for some people this kind of thing is an enhancement to ones sex life.

we do not know what the actual type of religion, marriage vows, culture and such these two people are living in. all we know is what the poster has chosen to place in their post.

my point for .........me............ it makes no sense for me to tell someone else they must hit them over the head with a weapon, kick the lying cheating dude out when I dont know the whole off the computer story, life style and such.

which is why I can only post that for me what I would do if this was me and my wife. I would politely point out to my wife that she forgot to log out and inform her of that websites rules and that its now a crime here where I am to solicit sex on the internet (prostitution laws) and that this site has officially closed down their personnals/ dating site.

the fact that craigslist has shut down their personnals/dating area alone tells me that what my own wife may post would be a hoax/ just for the fun of it, not a serious attempt at dating/cheating. there are other more popular sites for this kind of thing that are free for registering and playing ads.

in marriage there comes a thing called unconditional trust and love. a person in a marriage doesnt just jump on the hes/she is cheating get rid of them band wagon over one problem ... placing an internet ad. we live in the digital age, people do go on facebook and twitter, craigslist and dating sites, heck even here at psych central people post things they wouldnt normally do in real life.

unless my wife actually comes to me and says ....hey I met someone online at such and such a website and we met..... thats when I will consider it to be hey you cheated on me, where do you want to go from here, lets take some serious time to talk about why you felt you needed to do that, what in our lives isnt giving you what you need, has this happened before...... la,de da da da.....

I just dont see the point in my getting upset over if my wife was on the internet posting an ad and having conversations with people on the internet. its no different than the girly/stud mags in the bathroom... for some people its fantasy play.

only the original poster and their loved one knows their whole story and why this happened in their own lives and thats who should be dealing with the situation... between the two of them.

all I can do is post what I would do if this was me and my wife.
He already met wuth a guy and had sex for $200 and now making new arrangements. Not sure why you call it a fantasy and do not consider it cheating.

Ok so it sounds that you wouldn’t be upset if your wife solicited sex for $200. It’s fine. Your choice. But OP is clearly upset. How is it helpful to tell her that you wouldn’t be upset if your partner solicits sex online (for real or as a joke). Does it really make a difference for OP to learn that YOU are ok with your partner doing all these things that upset OP? OP is hurt. What purpose does it serve to tell her that these kind of things don’t hurt you?
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Thanks for this!
amandalouise, lizardlady, Middlemarcher, s4ndm4n2006