One of the things that keeps me going is that the end is inevitable anyway, so there is no need for me to rush it. It's not like I am going to escape it. Since it'll happen sooner or later, I am just trying to leave something behind for some people who know me and care about me..or for anyone who finds my accumulated knowledge useful..something for them to use for their own development. And, meanwhile, I am just trying to make the best out of each moment of whatever I am destined to live..doesn't matter how long..It makes no difference whether it's 5 or 20 or 40 years. Life is too short anyway, so, on the universal scale, additional 20 or 30 years make no difference.