Hi everyone,

I’m having a really bad patch of social anxiety and really struggling.

A couple of months ago I was in therapy for this problem and really felt like I was tackling it and getting better. Unfortunately though we only get a certain amount of time in therapy in our health care system and so I was in a position where I was forced to finish it even though I don’t think I was quite ready.

The problem is I’m so worried about what people think of me I can barely speak to anyone now. When I try, my head is full of thoughts about how I’m coming across? Are they bored of what I have to say? Am I being funny enough!? Do I stand out? Am I saying the wrong thing? Am I upsetting them or saying anything offensive? Am I talking too much about myself? I’m so consumed by these thoughts I find it really hard to engage in a conversation and really listen to another person when they’re talking to me.

I’m also really confused about my identity and who I am as a person, and particularly if that comes across when I interact with other people. I know the things I like and dislike, but I don’t know what my personality is or how I fit in with a group of people. When I was younger I was the “funny” class clown type and that’s how I slotted in, but as I’ve got older I’ve felt a lot more serious which I don’t really like. I have to try too hard to be funny and get really frustrated when I can’t do it. It doesn’t feel natural or genuine anymore. It feels kind of forced.

I always want to be a nice person but I’m also worried I’m not kind enough. My anxiety stops me from saying or doing nice things for people as I’m too scared of being rejected so I’d rather just not speak or say anything at all than come across as rude or unkind, but then I’m losing the opportunity to connect with other people.

I go into a room and just experience awkward silences with people, anyone who has remotely any authority over me and I just completely freeze. Anyone who I can talk to I’m worried how I’m coming across. My self esteem isn’t very good, and I wish so much that I could like myself a bit more as I think then I wouldn’t mind as much if other people liked me or not.

Has anyone else had anything like this? Are there any tips on overcoming it? I find interacting so tiring because of it and sometimes just prefer being alone. I thought of trying to write a journal to hear my own voice and thoughts a bit more, but I don’t know. Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated though!

Thanks!