Thanks, Lemon. I think that's what was behind T's reaction of "goodness!" I know some of this stuff comes from my mom, that I don't deserve a certain level of care. Like in high school I told her I was depressed and wanted to see a therapist, and she was like, "What do you have to be depressed about?" Even a few years ago, I mentioned an appointment with ex-T, and she said, "Shouldn't you be done with therapy by now?" And I see people on here talking about how T's should only see clients more than once a week if it's a "crisis," stuff like that. And I think (in general, not because of anything on here) how I'm probably reacting too strongly to things in my life.

But T has told me that people react in different ways to things. And that I shouldn't feel that because some people had much worse childhoods than me, that I didn't experience any trauma. That he feels sad that I feel I'm less deserving of care because it wasn't that bad. That it might have been really bad for *me* and that's what matters. He's also said how dealing with bad anxiety and OCD all my life (plus some depression) can be a form of trauma. All his validation helps. Including more recently the stuff about how it's normal to still have feelings of intense sadness for ex-MC. And the validation/support on this forum helps, too.