I actually moved forward before getting my divorce because he made it financially impossible to get the divorce at that time & then the economy crashed & the house we owned was upside down. There was no point in forcing anything because debts & no assets would have kept me trapped so I left.

For years I was home getting all the collection calls. I left & it was his turn to deal with it.

My mom died several years before I was finally able to leave but selling her house & inheritance gave me the money to move 2100 miles away & buy a small 10 acre farm.

Amazing to be on my own for the first time in 54 years of life. I bought only foods that I liked. I had no furniture so it was like camping out in my home. I got internet. The little town I moved to has only 8000 people after leaving Los Angeles with millions of people I decided to check out the town. I joined the monthly book club at the library. For someone who never read much before other than tons of tech manuals for work this was me challenging myself & I even enjoyed being involved in the discussion.

Met people in the horse community & that has been a great bond with people & many activities involved.

Got involved in a church & Bible study groups.

I found an outstanding psychologist & was in an intense DBT group for 2 years. Met 2 good friends in there that I have kept in touch with & we have actually started an art group we enjoy painting together.

I also found an outstanding ballroom dance & performance class in the neighboring town. I have met wonderful people through that also.

The world equestrian games came to our local horse park in 2010. I volunteered & ended up on the decoration crew that did all the floral decor for all the events. That crew was so awesome they welcomed many of us to join them to decorate an annual 4 star eventing show. We come together once a year & make the greatest team.

I have done a lot of volunteer work in my town & horse rescue work.

I think for me, this small town has made it much easier for me to get involved & get to know people.

But basically I always thought there was more to life & living in a community than what I experienced so my new separated life included all the opportunities I had been missing for the interests I have. After 11 years I finally got my divorce last Aug but am still battling over marriage assets in the state I came from.

I started my new life long before the divorce. Had no interest in dating as I had way too much to sort out in my own life which thebpieces of that puzzle have now come together thanks to my awesome T.

Just get out there & do the things that always interest you. Get involved in whatever that may be....but maje it new things you haven't been doing.