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Yzen
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
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Default Dec 16, 2018 at 11:07 AM
 
I go through this too. When I talk to someone, I sense there is this imaginary score card that they are keeping: how interesting is he? why did he wear those clothes? Does he think he is funny? Why isn't he happy and smiling? It is like taking an exam and the other person is grading it.

What I am trying to do now is view interactions with people like there is no grading and no exam. I will talk....send my words out and not care how they judge me. I'm try to be a considerate person so my words are never intended to do any harm, so the worse that can happen is the other person finds me boring. I can accept that. If I don't talk at all, they will think I am even more boring.

The truth to it is most people aren't thinking about you when they talk. People mostly think about themselves when speaking and what they are going to say next. You might as well be yourself. Let the awkwardness happen if it happens. And, do your best to make the other person feel safe talking to you by being as friendly as possible.

I hope it gets better.
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Thanks for this!
scarlett35