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scarlett35
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Member Since: May 2017
Posts: 329
5 yr Member
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Default Dec 16, 2018 at 11:25 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzen View Post
I go through this too. When I talk to someone, I sense there is this imaginary score card that they are keeping: how interesting is he? why did he wear those clothes? Does he think he is funny? Why isn't he happy and smiling? It is like taking an exam and the other person is grading it.


What I am trying to do now is view interactions with people like there is no grading and no exam. I will talk....send my words out and not care how they judge me. I'm try to be a considerate person so my words are never intended to do any harm, so the worse that can happen is the other person finds me boring. I can accept that. If I don't talk at all, they will think I am even more boring.


The truth to it is most people aren't thinking about you when they talk. People mostly think about themselves when speaking and what they are going to say next. You might as well be yourself. Let the awkwardness happen if it happens. And, do your best to make the other person feel safe talking to you by being as friendly as possible.


I hope it gets better.


Thank you. I will try. I just find it so difficult, when I do speak, I’m wondering how I am coming across to others. Plus wondering if it is my true self or I’m just trying to act a certain way to please them. I try and pretend to be super confident but I quickly get tired as it’s not a true reflection of how I feel inside. I don’t want people to be able to tell I’m anxious, but if I open up to close friends about it, I feel really ashamed that I have this problem

Thanks for sharing yours as it makes me feel less alone! *hugs*
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Thanks for this!
Yzen