This is the second hardest forum for me to post/respond in. The first is SoA for obvious reasons.

I come here and I read, very rarely do I leave any trace that I've been around. I read something that relates to me and I say, "I don't talk about that" and I leave the forum entirely. Once I leave, I don't come back around for a while. Once I come back, the same story repeats itself. Kinda sucks since, out of every forum, I need to talk here the most for a couple reasons. One, where else can I talk about this stuff? Two, who else but those here will understand what I have to say?

Still, I can't bring myself to speak. I can't bring myself to admit things I'm sure happened, and I deny things that have no witnesses because denial is easier. I feel that statement is admission that I know it's real. But I don't. I don't know if it's real. I don't know if anything at all in my life is real. I'm so ****ing confused all of the time. I just want some clarity. More than that, I want my mind to know peace. I just want to know peace.