Quote:
Originally Posted by Hanzo55
For me, a few things helped:
1. Come to the understanding that you are not equipped to provide all the tools and support your daughter needs.
This goes against the grain (esp. for a parent) because you *always feel responsible*. But this isn't the chicken pox, or riding a bike, or keeping the fed and clothed.
You are not a licensed therapist. So do not beat yourself up for "Oh, God, what could I have done different/better/more."
Do what you can. Leave the rest to professionals.
2. Keep busy. For me, it was a compartmentalization tactic - The more I can focus my time on hobbies/tools/reading books/watching movies/learning new things, the less I'm left to begin second-guessing the gravity of the situation.
For example, I got so tired of my SO's manic spending that I built an online tool specifically designed to help counteract that kind of behavior.
Focusing your energy elsewhere may give *you* a little time to replenish your mental health. You don't deserve to be in a constant state of worry.
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Thank goodness I have a job I like that takes my attention away for a while. I've told her that if she doesn't go back to school, she has to work, that we're done just throwing money at her and every whim she has. Now she wants to go to college, which is fine, but she's gonna have to work to do it. The state she lives in has free tuition, so that's a plus. I want her to do what she wants, but the first time it gets hard, she'll quit. It's a pattern and she doesn't seem to get it. Life is hard for the most emotionally healthy person among us. It just is.
My dad is dying and my mom is slipping and I'm trying to deal with that situation as well. She doesn't even ask how I'm doing or how her grandfather is. I think I've come to realize that this person is a narcissist. She can't see beyond herself and what she wants.
Right now I just want to be done. I don't want to see or talk to her for a while. I'm tired of getting emotionally threatening texts and phone calls trying to manipulate me. It's terrible to not want to see your child, but I just don't want any contact for a while.