Echos-reading from afar, it sounded like he rubbed salt in your wound when he said the video was scary. Maybe there was a connection where the Facebook part of the video led to a reopening of the wound from your big rupture where he referred to you as an "internet sleuth". It seemed really out of line for him to say the video was "scary", regardless if it was an oversight about the connection with the previous rupture or only due to common carelessness. I couldn't help but notice that he self discloses unusually excessively. I wonder if you've thought about that?

The video seemed funny except when she stopped playing the piano--then it had a brief sense of being out of control. That is scary to me. I've been on the end of idealization many times; one time, So I can see something like that seemingly harmless video as scary or even triggering me. Then again, I'm not a therapist and never could be due to this issue that resulted in what seems like lifelong PTSD now. Anyway, when someone overidealizes, and I don't mean the garden variety, they lose their whole sense of self and are merged with the person they are idealizing. It's very similar to psychosis, but instead of someone disconnecting from reality in the world around them, they disconnect from the reality of who they are. That can be very scary when you are on the other end. Maybe that has happened to your T? I hope you don't mind me sharing this.

I can relate to not feeling accepted by T. I've dealt with some painful ruptures with my T when he seemed rejecting of my intense feelings. I don't think I ever recovered from it, and instead, introjected it like I did my mother's contempt for me for merely existing.

That's great that he gave you a christmas card, and I'm glad that you feel better now.