Is this behavior that you want to completely stop or gain some control over? I think it is important to separate the wounded part part of you that has these urges from the part of you that doesn't want to go along with them anymore or manage them better. Sometimes it is important to become your own parent, which means identifying a strong aspect of your personality that has the ability to do what is in the best interest of your entire being.

I'm not making a judgment on your behavior, which is why I asked if you want to stop it or control it. It could be that you want to manage it better, so you keep it compartmentalized in one part of your life, without letting it overwhelm your entire life. Or, maybe you want to eliminate it completely, which may be easier said than done. However, knowing that you want to eliminate it is the first step, if this is what you truly want.

So, what do you want? How do you feel about the behavior that you've described here?