Thank you for your input. You bring up some good points that I have not considered before, even in therapy. Would you mind expanding on your thoughts? Is chronic stress (i.e me putting out daily fires that my husband creates) different from anxiety? Does that mean that anyone would feel like I do under these conditions, and that this is not just a "I have anxiety issues" thing? Also, I just heard the term "coping skills" for the first time in my life a couple of months ago. I literally had to Google it after I heard it. And then I realized that I had none and began to research some and try them. My lifelong coping mechanism was to always jump in and solve/fix any problems so that I could then go on with my life. My work was always my escape from problems that could not be quickly solved. But now that gets interrupted every couple of hours with my husbands panicky texts or calls. I have put firm boundaries down dozens of times regarding work hours yet he only listens for about two days and then starts up again.

You stated that "Dread and the sinking anxiety however are more akin to melancholy and those anxiety work throughs don't stand a chance." . That is what I have suspected is the reason behind my experiencing depression anytime life gets tough. And each tough time has been because I have entered into mutual contracts with people who drop the ball. Ex: a mortgage that takes both of our paychecks, but then he quits his job. etc., etc. And I seriously question how I keep allowing people to get that far with me and I have recently began to change my life structure towards being more independent, and to quit entering into two party agreements unless I can handle them all on my own.

I am very curious about what you said here "those anxiety work throughs don't stand a chance." I do see that I am getting it wrong. But I'm not sure which parts. And I don't have a clue what right looks like. I am embarrassed to ask this much of you, but would you mind literally spelling it out for me. And what work throughs might work instead? (Explanation for such a strange request: I grew up in a single parent household where I was left alone starting at age 5. My mother worked all day and then locked herself in her room the minute she got home every night. If I made any noise, she would come out and beat me. So I have had to muddle my way through life, trying to observe "normal families & people", to try and pick up life tips). But it's obvious that there is some big piece here that I have missed and I feel like you may have spotted it and it could lead to some major clarity and positive change.