For decades I went to therapy and wished that my mother would change and be nurturing and accepting of me. She never changed. Therapy didn't help much either.

The best advice I ever got was not much help either. It was "well, that's her loss (not having a close relationship with me)." It's true but it's not comforting.

You have a basic human need that has never been met. Have you been able to form a close and trusting relationship with anyone else? Consider making that a goal. In fact, try to make close and trusting relationships with as many people as you can. Is that a cure for your mom's coldness towards you? Not really. But it is a sign of recovery that you have not let her personal shortcomings deprive you of a life. And, of course, you will find satisfaction in the new, healthy relationships that you form.

Most importantly, end the cycle of coldness that she represents. Do not treat your spouse and/or children and friends like your mother treated you. End the cycle. That is a true goal (and, hopefully, victory) for which you can be very proud.