Anxiety work throughs or coping skills that are taught by therapists, I've come to accept as not always working when life at home is dreadful and if there is anything like depression going on. I have found, personally that chronic stress can lead to other health issues.

No it really doesn't sound like it's all you being the one with anxiety issues. You aren't in control of your husband and how stressful to not have the financial support that needs to be mutual when partnering in life together. It's one thing if there are circumstances beyond his control but it doesn't sound that way to me.

I'm so sorry to read that about your childhood. I haven't had too many therapists delve into how the past with family of origins affects us in the here and now, yet, when I was doing a ton of self help work (and in an online support group) in addition to counseling when I was going through the hardest of marital times, much was discussed about family of origin. Even in working through anger, back when I thought reacting from being provoked was all about "my issues", much was discussed about family of origin and how reactions when amplified can be lingering reactions to pain from childhood. Was certainly eye opening and an important piece of "working through" what I was going through.