I saw on here that there is someone else dealing with this same issue. I responded to them because I know the pain, just like a lot of us do.

In May of this year I took my cat to the vet because he was having accidents outside of the litter box. He just had a urinary tract infection but when they weighed him he was 19.7 lbs. I mean he was a big one, and not fat just solid.

We moved into an apartment at the end of June and he was doing great and the antibiotics had fixed him right up. On October 3rd he had lost so much weight. When I took him to the vet he had become 14 lbs. They said they needed to do testing because he had no other symptoms. I hate to say it but he started getting better, quickly, and we didn't have the money to get him tested. So we didn't...

After about 2 weeks he started to decline again and no vet would allow us to take him in without paying, which again we couldn't afford. He hadn't eaten in a week when all of sudden he was yellow. I mean yellow, complete jaundice. So November 2nd we took him in. We finally had some money and borrowed so more to spend over $300 on tests and medications. His liver was at 770 when it's not supposed to be over 100. We tried so hard. I was vigilante about his medications and force feeding him baby food. I didn't sleep that night because all he was doing was vomiting. Last Saturday, November 3rd (I realize one day later) he could no longer move. He hadn't slept the night before, I think it was because he knew. At 2:20 PM on November 3rd my best friend was put to sleep. At 1:15 we took him to my fiances parents house and five people showed up to say goodbye and write a note that we put in the box we buried him in. He knew, I know he knew. That's why he wouldn't sleep the night before, because he didn't want to leave us. Saturday morning we got to lay with him in bed and tell him how loved he was. How he was perfect. Yoda was buried with two Yoda kitty costumes, a bag of his favorite cat treats, and multiple notes telling him how great he was.

Yoda was my best friend. He wasn't legally my therapy cat but I still consider him to be. When things got hard in my life he was there. He was my rock and helped me stay grounded. When I lost family or friends or just couldn't bare things, he was there. There are not a lot of people who can equal my love for my son, but Yoda did. I cannot express how heart broken I am. I cried so much that my eyes got so swollen I could barely see.

Even right now I'm crying. I have left the apartment twice since then because I cannot leave and come home to him being gone. I cannot smile. I cannot focus. I haven't slept. When I lay down I feel that 20 lb cat jump on the bed, but he isn't there. We have another cat that isn't mine. She's my fiances and I cannot bare to look at her or really be around her. I don't wish in anyway it was her or anything but she hates me and wants nothing to do with me. Tonight will be the first night my fiance goes back to work. He works midnight's and I am terrified to be alone. I am so scared I won't be able to handle it and I will cry all night. I have no one to talk to because everyone thinks he was "just an animal". I'm sorry but you're wrong. Yoda was the perfect best friend anyone could hope for.

I don't know how long I will grieve and I know it's stupid to some people, trust me I feel like a fool sometimes because maybe I am being over dramatic. But right now, I don't care. A part of me is missing.

I'm sorry about the rant and the detail but I don't really have anyone tell. I want everyone I come in contact with to be told Yoda's legacy, even if it's dumb to them.

I put a picture of him in the uploads.