Hello Milo: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral. There is a forum, here on PC, dedicated to the subject: survivors of abuse. Perhaps reading through some of the posts in that forum might help you to gain some perspective with regard to what people who grow up in abusive homes face. Here's a link to that forum:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/survivors-of-abuse/

And then here are links to a baker's dozen articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some interest. These articles aren't going to address the specific situation you describe I'm afraid. But perhaps they can be helpful with figuing out how to proceed:

Explaining Mental Illness to Children: Part 1 | Resilient Youth

Explaining Mental Illness to Children: Part 2 | Resilient Youth

The Challenge of Children with Special Needs

Preventing Mental Disorders in Children and Teens | Bonding Time

Teaching Kids to Identify and Cope with Their Emotions

https://psychcentral.com/blog/techni...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-tips...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...ion-is-waning/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...-it-look-like/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-tips...ns-self-worth/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-more...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/4-tips...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/ptsd-an...dium=popular17

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.