If it was at only at work I would be less worried. I theorized the way my brain funtion was a way to deal with some emotional abuse has a child. When I think about it, it's the "perfect" copy mechanism, you are 100% available to do everything you are told to because you lack your own will, the disconection helps with disconected adults, the memory problems helps you forget the bad times and acept the adult at each moment with resenting them. You lose your sense of self so you don't mind the intrusion and lack of space.
Great explanation can convince myself for moments until I experienced what I do and everything feels so visceral and funtional like a real sickness.
I feel very distent from people, most of the times it's like none of us are there. I want to ask for help, but the people who are "close" to me don't feel real to me.