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IceCreamKid
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: Australia
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Default Dec 25, 2018 at 12:21 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MentalParadox View Post
I've tried several therapists, but they can't help me. I don't consider this illusion to be my core problem. I need it, actually. I use it like a drug. I'd be boned without it. No, this illusion is a mental substitute for meaningful social interaction, and romance in particular. I must seek this out in reality, however difficult that may be with social anxiety.
I found your original post quite interesting. Let me digress for a moment and say I see variations of "I've tried several therapists, but they can't help me" here on PC and elsewhere.

I've been to one therapist. I found her helpful. Not curative; but I did derive some benefit from counseling with her. Maybe not enough benefit--no, assuredly not; she was just starting her practice and I believe my problems were just a bit outside her scope. Nevertheless she was helpful, enough so that I was able to continue helping myself and leaving me with the knowledge that therapy or counseling is worth trying, even if it means trying more than one therapist. So I would want to know more about why you found every single therapist you have been to be completely incapable of helping you, particularly if you think that that therefore means no therapist in existence can help you.

So let me go back to what you were writing about. We are not permitted to diagnose here and in fact I am completely unqualified anyway. Nevertheless, your comments about the connection you felt with the person you wrote about--that resonated with me. When I was younger that sort of fantasizing--or entering an alternate reality, if you prefer, was what I did. When I came across a description of Avoidant Personality Disorder I saw an element of myself in the mention of fantasizing. It was how I coped when I was younger and not in control of my own life. The only love, connection, friendship I had was in my fantasy life.

I also worried that others could detect my thoughts, although for me much of that came about, I believe now, because I was abused and lived in constant fear of setting my abuser off.

Wikipedia has some interesting info on Avoidant Personality Disorder and particularly the very brief paragraph "History". While reading to the end I came across the words "Avoidance coping" and then saw a reference to "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy."

There is a risk with self-diagnosing; I think you would benefit from seeing someone about your belief regarding your thoughts being broadcast. The thing about psychosis is that if it is treated early, people get a better result. So I don't recommend letting that go, in the event you are experiencing psychosis. I think it is worth it to find out if you are.

The turning point for me was in my realizing that I could act (take steps to better my life) to achieve some of what I wanted. Since I have been consciously trying to do that, I have noticed my fantasizing has dwindled--yet I feel quite good about the future and I am coping well in the present.

Honestly, I rarely come away from posting here with any good feeling; I might as well be spitting into the wind. I lack the ability to say the warm reassuring word while completely avoiding whatever the issue is.

Because your comments struck a chord with me, though, I thought I would lay out my experience for you or others to think about. I wish you the very best, and I hope what I have written here is of some benefit to you.
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