When will this pain stop. When will my automatic thoughts about you and our next appointment stop. Today I have been searching for ways to connect with you. I have googled you more in depth than ever before. I just want to feel your warmth. Instead All I feel is more sadness because Ieill never see you again in this lifetime. It doesnt help that t is takening a week off. But because of the holidays falling in my appointment day I will have almost 2 weeks where I will not see her. I cant handle this pain anymore. If she cant really understand the grief I deal with in regards to my mom. I cant imagine she would understand about you. Dhe is very supportive though and mentioned even before your passing, you maternal roll in my life.