Hello Skeezkys, HopefullyLost1211 and T4bbyCat:

Thanks for the very helpful information and insights. I agree that there is no way of knowing with 100% certainty if I developed depression due to my mother's illness. I have 3 brothers and none of them believe my mother or father suffered from an undiagnosed/untreated mental illness, but both parents had problems with alcohol, which might explain why no one talked/talks about it, even to this day, and the fact my mom passed away at a relatively young age of 58, was just seen in clinical terms of having a heart attack; while I thought she drank herself to death, and the depression certainly did not help. I see many parenting behaviors in myself that exemplified the cool, often cold and detached bond/relationship I had with my mother. The past few years, well, actually more like 10, I have spent a lot of time agonizing over my behavior in high school, the terrible experience I had in my twenties in university, and my less than stellar career. I do agree that I don't want to cast blame on my parents. My younger brother whenever we meet, which happens about every 15 years, always like to bring up how angry I was in high school. He is right and I was rebellious and a problem student, and I am not sure if this is the way a mood disorder manifests its way in a young adult? I have two young children, aged 9 and 11, so I do worry a lot about what I might have passed on, or am passing on to them that might make them more predisposed to developing a mood disorder later..

Sincerely,

BigZen