I am so ****ing tired of grocery shopping! It is so damn hard to buy groceries without a freaking car and ****** public transportation and nobody to help me!

I am irate. I went to Walmart today to use some gift cards on some food items and snacks to hold me over until late next week when the person that normally takes me is free. I decide I want to splurge on a bit of alcohol and buy a bottle of champaine for New Years because I feel like I deserve at least that for all the hell I've been through. I rode the bus there and took a Lyft home and all was fine until I dropped the bag with the chanpaine in it and ruined a whole bag of groceries! Oh and I got glass shards stuck in my hand when I tried to salvage what wasn't ruined by alcohol!

I normally buy in bulk when I can get my ride but he's so busy all the time because his work schedule is unpredictable (he is a Limo driver who fills in as a delivery driver during the week when there isn't enough Limo runs) so he can get called in at any time which makes getting a ride difficult and I sure as **** can't be expected to haul 100lbs of groceries all the way up to my upstairs apartment all on my own! But it's either do that or go once a week and grocery shopping is too damn stressful and triggering for me.

I'm at point where I'm ready to say **** it and just start ordering food from now on. I'm currently on food stamps and get more than I can use because they only use my student job as basis for my income and not all the financial aid I get. I feel like other people can use the aid more than me as it is and it's becoming time to renew them but I'm about ready to say **** it and just get a Shipt membership since they just arrived at my city thankfully. I can get a yearly membership at a deep discount for being a student so even though I would be losing a lot of money by getting off food stamps it is so damn stressful going to the grocery store that it's worth it to just pay $100-200 more per month and have my groceries delivered to me. Besides, if need be I'll just tap into my unused student loans. IDGAF at this point if this continues I am seriously gonna snap and run my cart into somebody!