I'm so sorry elevatedsoul. Have you ever discussed these issues with a therapist? I think it's worth doing.
My mom has bipolar and when she's manic she yells at everyone for no reason. I don't think it has anything to do with us. It's her illness making her do that. But when we are being yelled at, we still hurt.
It sounds like this might be the issue with your friend and maybe others in your life. Also, have you ever been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder? I am not in any way qualified to make a diagnosis, but some of what you say reminds me of Borderline.