I would rather spend that 1 hour and 20 minutes per week playing video games or watching a few episodes of my favorite anime because those are things that are guaranteed to bring me immediate joy instead of being miserable in the short term (having to deal with my issues hurts too damn much) only to have a "chance" at being better way later down the line.

I just hate doctors and mental health professionals in general. I don't trust them at all and had bad experiences with them. I tried to take meds in the past but had a really bad experience (with SSRIs I believe but don't remember) and almost died from one of the pills I was on so I'm scared to take them again. I trust weed more because it doesn't have negative side effects even though it might not work as well some pills the risk isn't worth the reward to me when it comes to most medicine.

I have had **** experiences with therapists. The last one I saw flat out told me she can't help me after seeing her for over 6 months. The one before told me I couldn't see him anymore because I didn't have insurance and the grant I was on wore off. The one before that tried to take my video games away and found out what happens when people try to take one of the few things away that bring me any kind of happiness in this dark and lonely world.

So I've tried both therapy and medication, yet you seem insistent on attacking me on my own thread. What did I do to deserve your judgements anyways?

So yeah, I am sorry that I'm the way I am. I wish I wasn't but I don't have the same resources that you normies do. I don't have people to love me. I don't have hardly any support in my life. I don't have the same skills as other people because my mother didn't give a **** and failed to teach me how to survive in the world as an adult. I have had no help when I needed it the most. So yeah, I have to be this way to survive because I am a disadvantage since I lack the skills/resource the typical normal person has.