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Originally Posted by downandlonely
I can relate to what you say Hope. My parents and brother are judgmental and constantly putting me down. I moved far away, so that has helped a lot. But I still see them once a year around Christmas. Not sure that is a good thing though. I spend most my time with them hiding in my room. And I was very happy to get home.
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Thank you for your post DownandLonely. I am so sorry that your parents and brother are unkind to you and don't appear to appreciate you.
To me, you come across as a gentle and compassionate person and I think the world is better with you here.
What a shame it is when others can see and appreciate your goodness and yet...the people who brought you into the world or grew up with you have only criticism for you. It makes me very sad to hear of people treating you that way and picturing you hiding in your room when you could be off somewhere enjoying a grand ol' time with your friends or snuggling with your cat (think you said you have a cat).
I bet you were glad to get home...I would be too!
I rarely see my family anymore...I even stopped going home for holidays. Recently I went back for my father's funeral and I wish I hadn't because most people didn't want me there and it was awful...though my extended family members are lovely and it was comforting to reconnect with them.
DownandLonely, please know that you deserve unconditional love, peace, joy, laughter, hope, and good health
It might be a good experiment for you to skip the visit home next Christmas and treat yourself to some other sort of Christmas you'd actually enjoy. I believe you deserve that but only you can decide that. Of course, your family will likely condemn you for skipping it even though they don't value you when you do go.
That seems to be the way with that sort of family. With mine, I hold my breath waiting for the next verbal attack or threat when I am with them or even on the phone...when I stopped visiting home they called me a "trouble-maker" (never understood how I can be a troublemaker when I'm miles away minding my own business?) "selfish" and "cold" and said I "don't know how to be part of a family." I had to laugh a bit at that last one because I probably don't know how to be part of a family...not theirs anyhow because I don't want to accept or participate in verbal and emotional abuse and physical threats. My S.O. and I have built a little home together and it's nice and peaceful. We never fight. If there's an issue we respectfully talk it through and give each other space when needed. So I think he's my family now. Maybe.