I am 43 so growing up with an undiagnosed mentally ill, addict father, yet sober mother I had a 50/50 shot. I had never heard the word alcoholism until I was an adult. My parents were hippies that eloped in California and had me when they were 21. My mom has always been great and parenting made her an adult immediately. My dad, he wasnt ready. Easy accepted access to mind altering drugs from the 70's and lack of knowledge about addicts made it hard for my mother to accept things about her husband. Everyone that was a hippie mostly grew up and entered the 80's having given up party drugs, coke and stuff. People were fine with the town drunk but intolerant with the town crackhead and the war on drugs..anyway I am being long winded. My mom didnt realize until much later what an addict is, how good at being manipulative they are, plus she was emotionally abused by my dad. Unfortunately for me, I inherited the (old school label was massive depressive) bipolar II and addict genes and combine that with my personality and it was only a matter of time.
I am so fortunate I didnt get into hard drugs- I say that tongue and cheek though because stopping drinking was the most brutal thing I have ever done and I did it like an idiot on my own. I am so fortunate I didnt die trying. So... I basically was modeled coping mechanisms that were not viable or healthy even though I had a great mom, and had an abusive relationship with my dad even past their divorce. And I spent my entire 20's and early 30's learning how to grow up and be a healthy adult. BTW my dad never stopped drinking and recreationally using drugs and dropped dead of a heart attack at age 47 in his driveway so I am glad I stopped.