Hello Kittykat 4324,

you raise a very important question. I myself have experienced existentialist concerns throughout my life to varying degrees. I also live with depression but I don't think those are synonymous. For me, it would be very problematic to suggest that anyone struggling with questions about their existence is ill or broken. It is a natural part of the human condition to question why we are here and to experience "death anxiety." Some humans are possibly more tuned into those concerns than others.

We all know we will die some day and that prior to that point we will experience the loss of someone we loved due to their death...and somehow we are supposed to go about our lives without this awareness bothering us?? Someone recommended that I read 'The Denial of Death' by Ernest Becker. I haven't started it yet but I am wondering if there are ideas there which may help you.

"Would it be wise to actively ignore overly negative / existential thoughts and seek help whenever you feel like you have too many of them?
Sort of treat this abundance of unusual thoughts like a disease & actively NOT believe these thoughts, as if they are not yours"

I'm not sure that attempting to do that will get you where you want to be. For one thing, try telling yourself right now NOT to think of a brown bear...to think of absolutely anything except a brown bear. Did it work? Our brains are more likely to produce thoughts about the very thing we desperately try to ignore/block out. I've been wondering about my existence since childhood...truly...I remember these thoughts at a very young age...I think I'll continue to have them off and on until my last day on earth. So, if you have questions about your existence and the meaning of life, instead of labeling them as signs of "disease" why not take it as a natural part of being human...something you'll work through in your own time.

If you are overcome by any worry (existential or otherwise) to the point where it disrupts your life, I suggest professional help. Perhaps talking to a therapist would benefit you. It has helped me a great deal at different points.

It is significant that you mentioned a major imbalance in your life (working all the time) followed by intense anxiety or anhedonia. Certainly we all need balance in life...so I would say that's a good place for you to start...developing a healthier work / life balance by ensuring time for breaks, alone-time, hobbies etc. Play matters as much for adults as it does for children. Children happen to be much better at it than adults.

In general, I try to think of health from a holistic point of view...all three are connected: mind, body, spirit. So if something feels "off" or imbalanced whether it's headaches or intense anxiety or sadness, I perceive the "offness" as communication from mind, body, or spirit that I need to adjust something in order to restore inner balance. Perhaps your body was cueing you: "I can't keep working this hard...I need to slow down" and your spirit was wanting some attention and support. By spirituality, I mean a deep connection to the self, others, and the Universe. I am not religious at all. Interestingly, a lot of people think that the God concept was created by humans in order to manage their death anxiety: for some it is easier to tolerate their mortality by believing in a loving supreme being and a heaven rather than an 'end.' It's different for everyone. Perhaps developing your own belief system would also help to work through some of your existentialist angst? Mine is quite simple. We are all part of a vast and complex Universe. When our bodies die, our energy is converted into a different form and we essentially head back to the stars (so to speak). It's the loss of consciousness that really disturbs a lot of people. So it's worth thinking that over in your own way.

The medical model is useful for some things...if you break a bone they will get you exactly what you need. But what if it's a problem of the mind or spirit? Should we really view ourselves as "broken" and therefore needing to be fixed if we are wondering about our place in the Universe? Fixation on that with an inability to function would be a problem yes. But there have been times when I've seen the medical model cause more harm than good. For example, some MDs will preemptively prescribe anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds to the family members of a terminally ill patient. So, the idea there is that grief after the loss of a loved one is an illness which needs to be medicated away?? I had a friend who, in my opinion, suffered even more after her husband's death due to initially being numbed out by heavy medication at the time of his coma and death...mind, body, and spirit were not given the opportunity to respond and heal naturally. I don't think grief is a sickness. Complicated grief (you can google it) is something else and that is actually what my friend wound up with after all those meds. That was not directly on your topic, but you get my point?

Guided meditation is very useful to me. I can meditate on inner peace, my purpose, relieving sadness or fear...regular daily practice helps me to feel much more balanced. You could look into anti-anxiety meds if you feel overwhelmed...to break that vicious anxiety cycle (I've been there!) but I think that's untenable for the long-term.

Whatever you decide to pursue, I wish you peace and healing energy. Be patient and loving with yourself.